"The Apartment" is the 18th episode of Season One of the FOX television show Brooklyn Nine-Nine. It originally aired 25th February 2014 to 2.66 million viewers.
Episode Synopsis[]
Jake risks losing his apartment due to crushing debt unless Gina can help out. Meanwhile, Captain Holt and Terry conduct performance reviews on the detectives, and Rosa and Charles run into issues with a weekend squad officer.
Plot[]
Jake is sat at his desk with a perp, going through the details of his alibi. He spots Captain Holt and asks if he has his report on the Finley murder, he says he did and praises his work. Jake responds ”thanks Dad”. Everyone stops what they’re doing and looks at him. Everyone ridicules and teases him, Jake continues to deny that he said it. The perp pipes up that he did say Dad, Jake doesn’t believe him since he’s been lying since he got there and he admits he was lying and did the crime but also that he said Dad. Jake uses it as an excuse and said he did it to get his perp to admit his crime.
In the briefing room, Holt thanks everyone for coming in on their day off and explains he is doing their self evaluations. He reminds everyone to avoid the weekend squad as they are on shift now.
In Holt’s office, Terry gets excited about the evaluations as he believes they’ve had a great year and feels proud of them. Jake enters and says he went first to get it over with, he gives them his stats and proceeds to ask if he can borrow $430,000. He explains he needs to buy his apartment since it used to be his Nana’s and was rent controlled but is now going co-op and needs the money by the end of the day. Terry suggests a bank, Jake went to a bank and was laughed out. Gina is shocked about the idea of losing Nana’s apartment as she too spent lots of time there when they were younger. Holt sends him off to sort out this issue and Gina asks to go and help him to which Holt states that he needs her notes. Jake, wanting to relieve Gina from her responsibilities, reads out what she has currently written down: empanadas, Atlantic city, birth control. She’s dismissed.
In the break room, Charles asks the other’s advice about taking Vivian to Graziolos, as they're talking the weekend crew come in and take up residence at their desks. Rosa eyes up her weekend counter part, whom she dislikes, Lohank he shaves and blows it into the keyboard.
Gina starts reminiscing about when they’d go there to watch cable when they were younger. She asks to see his bank statements to see what his financial situation. Gina is looking over Jake’s statements and says he has a spending problem and uses his 6 massage chairs as an example. He asks how much he will have to cut back to buy the apartment... infinity% technically he’s bankrupt. Jake questions the building‘s choice to go co-op with no warning. Gina asks if he received any mail, Jake’s filing system is throwing his mail into his bathtub which is full. Jake suggests talking to a guy he knows who gives out loans to anybody.
In Holt’s office, Terry suggests brining in Santiago next and she bursts through the door having read his lips. Holt says he only has one question for Amy - what’s your biggest flaw? She suggests working too hard, being too thorough, caring too much? Or something entirely different.
In the break room Charles and Rosa catch Lohank shaving at their desk, he’s been denying doing it, he tips the contents of the razor onto the desk and blows it towards the keyboard. Rosa and Charles watch in horror. Charles suggests filling his locker with shaving foam and loose hair to teach him a lesson.
They both arrive at Frank's office. After Gina asks Frank how much interest he’ll charge, Jake asks him for $430,000 loan. Frank denies as he only gives small loans, so Jake asks for $20,000 as a down payment instead. Frank pulls it out of a drawer and puts it on the desk. Gina tries to talk Jake out of it but he signs anyway.
Charles and Rosa are having a great time filling Lohank’s locker with shaving foam. As they’re throwing loose hair into the locker Charles puts some on as a moustache and pretends to be Tom Selleck. Then puts more on as a long beard and pretends to be a billy goat, much to Rosa’s enjoyment, until he starts swallowing the hair.
Jake finds Mr Henders who tells Jake the co-op meeting was an hour ago. As Jake’s talking he not-so subtly puts the rolls of money on Mr Henders’ clipboard and tells him he’s using it as a down payment for a mortgage. Mr Henders tells Jake he needed a completed bank loan by today, he continues to say he needs Jake out by Friday to show the apartment to brokers. Jake takes back his money and they go their separate ways.
Jake stomps into his apartment and tells Gina he’s going to be homeless, Gina tries to cheer him up and says she‘ll help him find a new apartment.
In Holt’s office, Amy tries again at naming her biggest flaw. She pulls out a notepad and proceeds to suggest her flaw as; too competitive, prone to jealousy, bit of a killjoy, follow rules to a fault, don’t know how to relax and every now and then I smoke a cigarette. When Holt still isn’t satisfied she leaves to secret smoke disappointed.
Both Jake and Gina start to looking for a new apartment, but didn't have any luck.
Excited to see their prank be revealed, Charles and Rosa approach Lohank to see when he plans on going to the gym and thereby going to his locker. He tells them he’s not going today as he’s been having marital problems due to his wife falling downstairs a year prior and breaking her back and is now addicted to painkillers. He continues to tell them about the previous night when they had a fight and he left without shutting the door properly causing their dog to get out and hit by a drunk driver. Rosa and Charles leave as they begin to regret their actions.
In Holt’s office he asks why Scully and Hitchcock are doing their self-evaluation together. Hitchcock explains that Scully doesn’t handle stress well, who’s stood dripping in sweat. Hitchcock gives their combined arrest total of 14, when questioned by Holt he says it’s nothing to do with him as its a self-evaluation and they leave.
Rosa and Charles are elbow deep in shaving foam and hair as they attempt to scoop it all out of Lohank’s locker, to no avail. Holt stumbles across them and asks what they’re doing while Sarge tries to justify that they must have an explanation. Charles’ excuse is that they dropped it in the locker so they’re now cleaning it out. Holt empathises with Lohank and adds that he’s just been diagnosed with prostate cancer with everything else that’s happened. Holt orders them to clean it up.
Back at Jake apartment, Gina and Jake sit in the dark as to save money, with Jake using only one massage chair as he’s “not a savage”. Gina suggests she buy the apartment to rent to Jake. Jake questions how she has money and she tells him how she’s been thrifty and stayed in a cheap apartment since she was 20 to save. Jake hates the idea that Gina is proving to be better than him so denies her help and kicks her out.
A frustrated Jake storms into the break room where Amy is sat, he lie‘s on the couch and says he just “testing his new bedroom”. He offloads onto Amy about what happened with Gina and how he feels about how he's mad at himself. Before he leaves she asks what Holt thinks her biggest flaw is, he responds by saying who cares what matters is his opinion not Holt’s.
Rosa and Charles are exiting the bullpen saying how much fun they had, Rosa invites Charles to go for a drink. He denies since he has plans with Vivian, but apologises for not being fun recently due to having feelings for her. Rosa forgives him and says how much better he is now he’s in love with someone else.
Sarge enters Holt’s office to yell at Holt, he sticks up for his squad and reprimands him for being so unfair to them today. Holt orders Terry to sit down and performs his self-evaluation. He tells him how he’s right he was being hard on them and praises Terry for being a good leader and sticking up for the squad.
Jake later goes to Gina apartment and apologize to Gina for what he said and suggests that Gina buy Nana’s apartment for herself and he will sub-let her apartment.
Holt is in his office eating soup when Amy comes in she has found her biggest flaw, that she cares too much what Holt thinks of her. She’s adamant and leaves before he can respond.
Cast[]
| Actor | Character | |
|---|---|---|
| Andy Samberg | ... | Jake Peralta |
| Stephanie Beatriz | ... | Rosa Diaz |
| Terry Crews | ... | Terry Jeffords |
| Melissa Fumero | ... | Amy Santiago |
| Joe Lo Truglio | ... | Charles Boyle |
| Chelsea Peretti | ... | Gina Linetti |
| Andre Braugher | ... | Captain Ray Holt |
| Dirk Blocker | ... | Michael Hitchcock |
| Joel McKinnon Miller | ... | Norm Scully |
| Brian Huskey | ... | Mr. Henders |
| Bob McCracken | ... | Frank Spond |
| Michael Donovan | ... | Martin Lipstunk |
| Chuck McCollum | ... | Loan Officer |
| David Theune | ... | Hank Berlusconi |
| Eltony Williams | ... | Clancy Thomas |
Cultural References[]
- Charles does an impression of Tom Selleck in the show Magnum P.I
- Gina says that she watches Oprah Show
- Gina compares Jake to Ariel and Frank to Ursula from the film Little Mermaid
- Gina says she and Jake used to watch the film House Party 2
- Jake says Gina's life long dream is to be on the show Wife Swap
- Gina says Jake purchased the film Olympus Has Fallen on On Demand, twelve times
Quotes[]
- Jake: Thanks, Dad... Why is everyone staring at me?
- Rosa: You just called Captain Holt dad; you said thanks, dad.
- Jake: What? No, I didn't. I said thanks, man.
- Holt: Do you see me as a father figure, Peralta?
- Jake: No, if anything, I see you as a bother figure, 'cause you're always bothering me.
- Terry: Hey! You show your father some respect!
- Jake: I didn't call him Dad!
- Amy: Sir, I think I speak for all of us...
- Jake and Rosa: She doesn't!
- Gina: Technically speaking, you're bankrupt, kiddo.
- Jake: That sounds bad...
- Gina: It is bad. I only said "kiddo" to soften the blow, kiddo.
- Charles: Rosa, look! Lohank is shaving right now.
- (both Charles and Rosa watch Lohank shaving, and then blow the remnant of his hair)
- Charles & Rosa: (screaming in slow motion) Nooo...
- Rosa: Boyle, call an ambulance. I'm gonna do some stuff to him.
- Charles: Or...we give him a taste of his own medicine. We fill his locker with shaving cream and loose hair.
- Rosa: (smiling) I Like it. I cannot believe i am considering a non violent option.
- Charles: And i know just where to get a bundle of loose hair.